Friendship (finally!), Family, and Regret

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Okay, so I jinxed myself. I said my next blog would be about friendship, and after making this statement, my creative side dried up like a desert. I need to just write about it so I can move on mentally, but friendship is way too important of a topic to try to force it. I've been beating myself up trying to think of worthy things to say and of clever ways to say them. I don't even know what I want to say, so I'm just gona blab for a little bit. Hope that's okay with you.

But first: I will never, never, NEVER again state what my next blog will be about. NEVER! If there's a list of blogging rules somewhere, this rule must certainly be in the Top 10.

Okay. Time to get on with the friendship blog. Here goes!

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Like marriage, friendship is easy to neglect and take for granted, so let me start with my husband. He is my best friend (for better or worse!). He gets on my nerves like no one else can. Nobody else can even come close. But he's also (usually) the nicest person I've ever met. In 15 years, he's only really lost his temper at me once. He was doing something on the computer and I was bugging him and annoying him on purpose (really, I swear, it was on purpose) and he turned around and yelled something like "just fuckin' stop it." That's it. It cracked me up because it was so out of character. Oh, he has more subtle ways to torture me, but that's what marriage is all about, right? I'm the loud bitchy one and yet he sticks around and is way more sweet and loving than I deserve. My son is my other best friend. We talk, laugh, fight, cry, love. We're super bonded and that's just how I like it. My husband and my son are my true heart: they are My Family: my real, live together, bug each other, daily family. They are my world.

Then there's the rest of my family. My wonderful mom and my beautiful, loving sister. They both live less than an hour away and yet sometimes we don't even talk once a week. It's just wrong. My awesome mother-in-law: I see her all the time and constantly reap the benefits of her kindness. My dad, my stepmom, my sister-in-law, all my aunts and uncles and cousins - all my relatives and in-laws and step-people: I love them all so much but I never really tell them how much.

Then there are my non-relatives: friends by choice alone. I've had two friends since I was in the 5th grade. We usually get together about once a year, but even if we don't talk or see each other for awhile, these are bonds that will not break. They're my sisters even though they're not. I have a few other long time friends, some also like sisters, who I hardly ever see, who've either moved away or we just say "let's get together" but never do.

Then there are my more current friendships. I used to have some work friends until our company went out of business this summer. I miss these girls! Going to work can be such a big D-R-A-G sometimes, but we always made the most of it and cracked jokes all day and made it as fun as possible. I keep meaning to call to get together for lunch but then I get distracted and don't call. Then there are my newest friends, mostly a.k.a. the parents of my son's friends. I couldn't hope to meet nicer people and I would really like to become better friends with them.

So, Friendship. There you have it: a little window into my life. Any friendship I lack is totally my own fault, my own lack of picking up the phone, of making more of an effort to break out of my own little daily bubble. I wish I was better at making friends, and I wish I was better at reaching out to the friends I already have. So for any friends reading this: I'm sorry I haven't called. Call me. I was thinking about you and I was going to call. Really!


:)