*
So that cold draft you've been feeling? It's hell freezing over and it's all my fault. I joined a gym.
What the ...? I never thought I'd be saying this, but I actually enjoy it. Go figure! It was a New Year's Resolution. I'm probably the laziest, most unmotivated person I know, and yet I've been dragging my butt to the gym at least four days a week for three weeks now. And liking it, mostly. Well, the cardio part is pretty boring. The only way through it is to just do it. Yes I do realize that rhymes. And yes, like the Nike slogan. Also, it reminds me of something I heard a woman say in the locker room the first week I was there. She said to someone, "I'm doing it," and I thought that would be a wonderful advertising slogan, better than "just do it."
Anyway, cardio = boring. You get your heart pumping and you sweat. Whoop de doo. For the first two weeks I put my mp3 player on shuffle & just skipped past any slow tempo songs that popped up. That helped. Then I discovered last week (in keeping with the "no electronics" week at Joe's school) that the Stephen King book I've been reading fits nicely over the display panel of the exercise bike, so I just hold the page open with two fingers & pedal away. Time passes more quickly reading than it does with music and I'm able to keep my heart rate up while reading. Again, go figure!
The most surprising thing: I really enjoy the weight machines. My favorites are a "free motion" rowing machine & the big overhead bent bar pull down thing. It feels so good to stretch & strenghten muscles. I love it! In a million years you couldn't have convinced me that I would love it, but I really do. It feels good doing it and it feels good after. It is most certainly releasing some kind of muscle endorphins or something.
After cardio & strength training (don't I sound like I know what I"m talking about!?) sometimes I just come home, but sometimes I stick around to enjoy the jacuzzi, pool, sauna, and steam room. Why do these things all feel so good?
The bad part is, 3 weeks in, I haven't lost a single pound. All this exercising has stimulated my appetite but apparently not my metabolism. I keep getting hungry like I haven't eaten for days. But oh, I've been eating all right. I need to knock it off!
So there you go: a new blog post and a new good habit of getting some exercise. People can change. Go figure!
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
Gilly
*
Okay, so, sorry, I've been pretty lame with the blog. Whatever. My last entry was a total downer. I don't mean to be sad. I'm really pretty happy. See see - look at me - I'm happy - see? Tears of a clown, baby.
Gilly - did you have a dark moment? Gilly? Did you question the existence of God? Of love?
Gilly?
Gilly?
Sorry.
:(
Okay, so, sorry, I've been pretty lame with the blog. Whatever. My last entry was a total downer. I don't mean to be sad. I'm really pretty happy. See see - look at me - I'm happy - see? Tears of a clown, baby.
Gilly - did you have a dark moment? Gilly? Did you question the existence of God? Of love?
Gilly?
Gilly?
Sorry.
:(
Saturday, January 2, 2010
The Dark
*
Okay, I'm keepin' it real.
I had a pretty dark moment last week. It was raining. Joey was with grandma so I had the afternoon off. I went to the movies ("It's Complicated" -funny, thumbs up). After, I was driving in the rain to go to Sprouts, my favorite produce store. As I was driving, I had this thought. It came to me like a poem, so I will write it as such here, although it wasn't a distant, poetic sentiment; it was intensely real and I felt it hard to the core.
Don't believe in God
Don't believe in love
Don't believe in the kindness of strangers
If comforting arms surrounded me
I would not feel them
I would just disappear
Those things are much too far away from where I am
I don't live there anymore
Okay, so it's a bit derivative lyrically, but there it is. I felt overcome with sadness and loneliness. It was awful. I went to Sprouts and bought a few veggies but my heart wasn't in it. I quit smoking a year ago, and have been successful except for the occasional cheat, like at Indian casinos or on vacation. Anyway, I was desperate for a cigarette because I knew it would make me feel better. There weren't any smokers hanging around Sprouts - much too healthful of a place, damn it - so I drove over to the Target across the street & bummed a smoke off an older lady sitting under the overhang outside the store. Then I drove to the far side of the parking lot, got out of the car (so as not to stink it up) and stood in the now sprinkly rain smoking that cigarette. And you know what? Damn, it was good. I did feel better. I stopped crying and that desperate feeling left me. Then I got back in the car, cleaned my hands on a wet wipe and drove home.
Okay, I'm keepin' it real.
I had a pretty dark moment last week. It was raining. Joey was with grandma so I had the afternoon off. I went to the movies ("It's Complicated" -funny, thumbs up). After, I was driving in the rain to go to Sprouts, my favorite produce store. As I was driving, I had this thought. It came to me like a poem, so I will write it as such here, although it wasn't a distant, poetic sentiment; it was intensely real and I felt it hard to the core.
Don't believe in God
Don't believe in love
Don't believe in the kindness of strangers
If comforting arms surrounded me
I would not feel them
I would just disappear
Those things are much too far away from where I am
I don't live there anymore
Okay, so it's a bit derivative lyrically, but there it is. I felt overcome with sadness and loneliness. It was awful. I went to Sprouts and bought a few veggies but my heart wasn't in it. I quit smoking a year ago, and have been successful except for the occasional cheat, like at Indian casinos or on vacation. Anyway, I was desperate for a cigarette because I knew it would make me feel better. There weren't any smokers hanging around Sprouts - much too healthful of a place, damn it - so I drove over to the Target across the street & bummed a smoke off an older lady sitting under the overhang outside the store. Then I drove to the far side of the parking lot, got out of the car (so as not to stink it up) and stood in the now sprinkly rain smoking that cigarette. And you know what? Damn, it was good. I did feel better. I stopped crying and that desperate feeling left me. Then I got back in the car, cleaned my hands on a wet wipe and drove home.
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