*
Okay, so, sorry, I've been pretty lame with the blog. Whatever. My last entry was a total downer. I don't mean to be sad. I'm really pretty happy. See see - look at me - I'm happy - see? Tears of a clown, baby.
Gilly - did you have a dark moment? Gilly? Did you question the existence of God? Of love?
Gilly?
Gilly?
Sorry.
:(
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
Saturday, January 2, 2010
The Dark
*
Okay, I'm keepin' it real.
I had a pretty dark moment last week. It was raining. Joey was with grandma so I had the afternoon off. I went to the movies ("It's Complicated" -funny, thumbs up). After, I was driving in the rain to go to Sprouts, my favorite produce store. As I was driving, I had this thought. It came to me like a poem, so I will write it as such here, although it wasn't a distant, poetic sentiment; it was intensely real and I felt it hard to the core.
Don't believe in God
Don't believe in love
Don't believe in the kindness of strangers
If comforting arms surrounded me
I would not feel them
I would just disappear
Those things are much too far away from where I am
I don't live there anymore
Okay, so it's a bit derivative lyrically, but there it is. I felt overcome with sadness and loneliness. It was awful. I went to Sprouts and bought a few veggies but my heart wasn't in it. I quit smoking a year ago, and have been successful except for the occasional cheat, like at Indian casinos or on vacation. Anyway, I was desperate for a cigarette because I knew it would make me feel better. There weren't any smokers hanging around Sprouts - much too healthful of a place, damn it - so I drove over to the Target across the street & bummed a smoke off an older lady sitting under the overhang outside the store. Then I drove to the far side of the parking lot, got out of the car (so as not to stink it up) and stood in the now sprinkly rain smoking that cigarette. And you know what? Damn, it was good. I did feel better. I stopped crying and that desperate feeling left me. Then I got back in the car, cleaned my hands on a wet wipe and drove home.
Okay, I'm keepin' it real.
I had a pretty dark moment last week. It was raining. Joey was with grandma so I had the afternoon off. I went to the movies ("It's Complicated" -funny, thumbs up). After, I was driving in the rain to go to Sprouts, my favorite produce store. As I was driving, I had this thought. It came to me like a poem, so I will write it as such here, although it wasn't a distant, poetic sentiment; it was intensely real and I felt it hard to the core.
Don't believe in God
Don't believe in love
Don't believe in the kindness of strangers
If comforting arms surrounded me
I would not feel them
I would just disappear
Those things are much too far away from where I am
I don't live there anymore
Okay, so it's a bit derivative lyrically, but there it is. I felt overcome with sadness and loneliness. It was awful. I went to Sprouts and bought a few veggies but my heart wasn't in it. I quit smoking a year ago, and have been successful except for the occasional cheat, like at Indian casinos or on vacation. Anyway, I was desperate for a cigarette because I knew it would make me feel better. There weren't any smokers hanging around Sprouts - much too healthful of a place, damn it - so I drove over to the Target across the street & bummed a smoke off an older lady sitting under the overhang outside the store. Then I drove to the far side of the parking lot, got out of the car (so as not to stink it up) and stood in the now sprinkly rain smoking that cigarette. And you know what? Damn, it was good. I did feel better. I stopped crying and that desperate feeling left me. Then I got back in the car, cleaned my hands on a wet wipe and drove home.
Tuesday, December 22, 2009
12th Day of Christmas
Joey, Hasitha, & Nadira started singing the 12 days of Christmas. I got the video camera out in time to catch day 12. Hope you enjoy & Merry Christmas!
Saturday, December 19, 2009
Joey with Santa 2009
Karen had a Christmas party for kids at her house. It was really fun. Joey had a great time and - surprise surprise - Santa showed up! Awesome! Check out Joe's smile - priceless!
Joey 1st front tooth lost 12-19-09
Hello!
Joey lost tooth #3 this morning- top front. It was loose for awhile & Joey has a funny story about what made it finally come out.
Joey lost tooth #3 this morning- top front. It was loose for awhile & Joey has a funny story about what made it finally come out.
Wednesday, November 25, 2009
testing 1 2 3 Joey playing with airplane
*
Hello! Long time no write. No worries. I'll write when I feel like. This is MY blog after all.
Anyway, I got a new toy - a Sharper Image mini digital video camera. I'm trying to figure out how to upload the video onto this page. Let's see ...
Hello! Long time no write. No worries. I'll write when I feel like. This is MY blog after all.
Anyway, I got a new toy - a Sharper Image mini digital video camera. I'm trying to figure out how to upload the video onto this page. Let's see ...
Is that it? If so, ta da!
*
Monday, November 2, 2009
Halloween Horror
So, it's fine by me that some people don't believe in Halloween. Whether it's for religious reasons or for any other reason, I don't care. I wouldn't try to force it on them or convince them otherwise. I have no problem with them. It's their business. They don't have to participate. They can just turn off their porch lights and/or not answer the door, and they don't have to give out candy. No problem. I really don't care.
However ....
Along with way more candy than he could possibly eat in half a year, while out trick-or-treating in our neighborhood, my six-year-old son was given a cartoony booklet entitled "The Great One." No big surprise what this booklet is about. It's about Jesus. Well, no, I take that back. If it was just about Jesus and was an uplifting, positive story for children about Jesus and love and goodness that would be one thing.
But no. This is a story about a man, a highly educated scholar who is very proud of himself.
(P.S. - I don't think I'm imagining the man's Semitic features, either.) He has a daughter named Ashley. One day she goes to Sunday School and reads the Bible and learns about Jesus. She repents her sins and ~ hallelujah! ~ she knows she's gonna get to go to heaven when she dies. The next day she talks to her father the scholar and he says that he's too smart to believe in God and that "religion is only for the weak." So when her father dies, Jesus sends him to burn in hell in the lake of fire (cartoon renderings included, folks); and when Ashley dies, she goes to heaven.
Wait: now that I think about it, this not-so-very-nice little slice of Christianity is actually a quite appropriate Halloween haunt. I find it scary as hell (!) that there are people who think it is perfectly okay to pass this dreadful, fearful little story off to small children without parental permission. And what really pisses me off is that the nasty little people who hand this stuff out are undoubtedly the same people who claim that gay people are trying to brainwash and indoctrinate kids. Hah! What a laugh! Talk about brainwashed & attempted brainwashing!
As a footnote, let me mention an encounter I had about a month ago with a checker at my local grocery store. She told me that she doesn't believe in Halloween now that her children are grown (convenient!) because of Jesus, of course, because it comes from the devil. But it's okay for children, she said, because they don't know any better. Is that some twisted logic? I didn't challenge her; I just smiled and laughed to myself because I thought: if children don't know any better and it's the devil's work: wouldn't that make it LESS okay for children? Wouldn't they need extra protection and guidance? Are people really this stupid? Oh well, I guess that's what the booklet is for!
Hope you all had a very Happy Halloween!
:)
However ....
Along with way more candy than he could possibly eat in half a year, while out trick-or-treating in our neighborhood, my six-year-old son was given a cartoony booklet entitled "The Great One." No big surprise what this booklet is about. It's about Jesus. Well, no, I take that back. If it was just about Jesus and was an uplifting, positive story for children about Jesus and love and goodness that would be one thing.
But no. This is a story about a man, a highly educated scholar who is very proud of himself.
(P.S. - I don't think I'm imagining the man's Semitic features, either.) He has a daughter named Ashley. One day she goes to Sunday School and reads the Bible and learns about Jesus. She repents her sins and ~ hallelujah! ~ she knows she's gonna get to go to heaven when she dies. The next day she talks to her father the scholar and he says that he's too smart to believe in God and that "religion is only for the weak." So when her father dies, Jesus sends him to burn in hell in the lake of fire (cartoon renderings included, folks); and when Ashley dies, she goes to heaven.
Wait: now that I think about it, this not-so-very-nice little slice of Christianity is actually a quite appropriate Halloween haunt. I find it scary as hell (!) that there are people who think it is perfectly okay to pass this dreadful, fearful little story off to small children without parental permission. And what really pisses me off is that the nasty little people who hand this stuff out are undoubtedly the same people who claim that gay people are trying to brainwash and indoctrinate kids. Hah! What a laugh! Talk about brainwashed & attempted brainwashing!
As a footnote, let me mention an encounter I had about a month ago with a checker at my local grocery store. She told me that she doesn't believe in Halloween now that her children are grown (convenient!) because of Jesus, of course, because it comes from the devil. But it's okay for children, she said, because they don't know any better. Is that some twisted logic? I didn't challenge her; I just smiled and laughed to myself because I thought: if children don't know any better and it's the devil's work: wouldn't that make it LESS okay for children? Wouldn't they need extra protection and guidance? Are people really this stupid? Oh well, I guess that's what the booklet is for!
Hope you all had a very Happy Halloween!
:)
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